www.SmartCarCents.com - How can you tell when Jeff Gordon is going to say something intelligent?

How can you tell when Jeff Gordon is going to say something intelligent?

He starts out with "Earnhardt once said ......" What is the difference between Jeff Gordons car and a porcupine? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside! Gordon walks into the shop and both of his ears are all bandaged up. Rick says, "What happened to your ears?" Wonderboy says, "Yesterday I was ironing my shirt when the phone rang and I answered the iron." Rick says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" Gordon says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor." GORDON IN JAIL! Jeff Gordon was arrested last night for trespassing and breaking and entering. He was picked up on the floor of DEI Motorsports. When reached for comment, Gordon said, "I just wanted to finally get a look at the FRONT of one of Junior's cars!" These jokes are in no way meant to be taken seriously, but if you are one of those stuck up Gordon fans with no sense of humor than too bad. twolipsgordon.com

Public Comments

I have never seen him say anything intelligent. Coach
How can you tell when a NASCAR fan is about to say something intelligent? No one knows... it's never happened! . .
those jokes are funny and i am a huge Dale Jr fan
First let me start by saying I am not a gordon fan, or a hendricks one either. That said I am sure that every driver has said something that they regret at one moment or another. It does seem that gordon does talk alot, and often when he should stay quiet. It is a free country so one cannot fault him for speaking his mind, sometimes he should just do it less often. If he is talking about Sr. he may be paying his respects in an odd way. If he is talking about Jr. who knows what he is going to say.
You can't tell by watching his lips
Like the jokes! Did you watch the Awards? The Host made such an A$$ of himself, going on and on about Gordon's new wife! Yeah she is pretty but so whats the big deal. Most of the Drivers have pretty wifes/girlfriends. Right? Unless they're still single... G O J U N I O R @@ < *^^*
He NEVER says anything intelligent.
he always does
I've watched his whole career and I am still waiting. Good jokes.
Good question, I dont think we will have an answer because it will never happen. Great jokes.
Great jokes. I'm not a Gordon fan and I'm still waiting for him to say something intelligent.
Has he ever?
i'm a gordon fan, and i have a good sense of humor..but seriously, most of these get really old after a while.. that's what gets the gordon fans most of the time.. they try to hack on his sexuality and talent..well you can't deny the talent, and the sexuality ain't got jack to do with NASCAR.. i like the "earnhardt once said" though..that was good..
I can't stand the rainblow man, but I have to say he can drive. A bit of a crybaby though. When he went those 50 some races without a win, he didn't waste any time bumping wallace and getting him loose. Let someone do that to him and he throws a hissy fit. Don't like JJ 48 either. Another crybaby. Too bad he won the title this year.
UR SO MEAN!! U guys who put all that stuff about how bad he is and how stupid he is i want u to count the trophys!! and those little websites some of you guys put down were not real! and none of those jokes were funny! Jeff is WAY better than Jr. will ever be! Hes a great driver and i'm a fan of his!! so take your little "jokes" to the jokes section and leave him alone! also i guess i have no sense of humor since i think those jokes were STUPID!
The girl above me is right!!! I love Jeff too!!! MY JEFFY!!!
he's better than any of those stupid dei drivers
I love it! The only time he can ever say anything smart is when it comes from the famous Sr. He doesnt have anything of his own. I love them jokes. Keep em comin!
OMG Thank you so much for those!!!! I can't stand Jeff Gordon!!!!! Go Jr!!!!!
ahahahahha! those are some great jokes. I cant stand Gordon, im so glad he didnt win this year. and to answer your question, the most intelligent thing that Gordon has or ever will say is that "the accident was my fault." Thats as intelligent as Gordon gets. I cannot see why or how he has fans. lol Chad
The jokes are funny as he*l. I'm a huge Jr fan and he never says anything interlligent.
I have never heard anything intelligent come out of Gordon's mouth...and haha those are really funny...i hate Gordon. My favorite has to the first one about him being a prick...hahahaha, that makes me laugh
i like this guy,nice jokes!this guy is totally right though GO 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGENT???
Ok, I'm all or Gordon bashing, as I can't stand him, but Hendrick bashing needs to stop! Just cause 3 ut of 4 of the drivers are @ssholes doesn't mean that Casey Mears is bad just because he drives for Hendrick. Casey has never wrecked anyone on pourpose and doesn't cry like his teammates. Casey is a great driver oh, and will race a lot better than JR next season. Three kids are walking across a bridge and they hear someone in the water calling for help. They jump in and save him. As he gets out of the water he says to them, "Boys you have just saved the life of Jeff Gordon. I'm a Nascar champion and very rich. Tell me what you want and I'll buy is for you." The first boy says," I want a trip to Disney WOrld for my entire family." Gordon says,"No problem, I'll even throw in a hotel for a week." The second buy says, "I want to ride around Daytona in your race car. Gordon says "Done and I'll even throw in race tickets for your family." The third boy says, " I want a electic wheelchair with the works, including a bumping built in sound system." Gordon says, OK, HEy wait a second, you aren't handicapped!" The boy says, "I will be when my dad finds out who I saved tonight!" A boy runs away from home and is picked up by the cops. WHen asked where his mom lives, he says, "NO I don't want to go to my mom's she beats me.. When asked if he can go to his dad's the boy says, "No my dad beats me too. THe cop asks about aunts uncles and grand parents, but the boy says they all beat him. So the cop says," is there anywhere I can take you where you won't get beat?" The boy replies, "Take me to Jeff Gordon's house, he can't beat anyone!" Did you hear Wal-Mart is being sued? A lady went into the dressing room to try on a Jeff Gordon shirt and hit the wall 3 times before she could get out! See, I have a sense of humor. I just get mad when people assume because Gordon, Kyle Busch and Johnson are idiots that everyone there is!
Love Them and you could just about put any drivers name in there.......
Just remember one thing, Gordon has 4 championships. Junior??? AND, Gordon didn't ride daddy's coat tails to get going in racing. Junior was CAUGHT on the radio by NASCAR spinning his car on purpose so he wouldn't go a lap down. Say what you want about Gordon, but he can drive. PS It takes three 8's to equal a 24!! Do the math.
When was the last time Jr. said something intelligent? Never.
Great jokes. You could make those jokes about any Hendrick driver and they would still be funny.
I DON'T KNOW , I'VE NEVER HEARD HIM SAY " ANYTHING" INTELLIGENT.......... JEFF GORDON SUCKS ANYWAY.........
This is absolutely a biased account of one person. As compared to who ? Jeff Gordon is one of the most intelligent and best drivers on the circuit. You have to be watching him for years to understand is strategy and what his statements have to do with the race. As for him starting out every sentence with what you claim, that's totally untrue. And I am no stuck-up Gordon fan. I work at a social services agency that helps people . What do you do besides make biased statements and spread misunderstanding and hatred?
I am sure you don't like Jeff Gordon but just because you don't does not mean there are not people that like him and respect him very much. I have to agree that Jeff is very intelligent and is respect by those who don't and do like him. It does not matter what you think because you obviously hate him, but I guess you will get over it. Jeff Gordon does not need his wife by his side just to prove that he can be intelligent, remember he has been in the sport longer then most you can write a paragraph. It is Odd how you portray Jr to hate Jeff but that is not necessarily true. Most of you have never seen Jeff's creditials in order to know what he is like you have to be smart to know that. So before you JG Haters can judge someone by the way you think they should be and what they should say and do then you should take a look at yourselves and evaluate your driver before you start picking on Jeff Gordon 4- Time Nextel Cup Champion. In my book Jeff is a true Champion besides the great Dale Earnhardt Sr. I don't care what you think, if you are not smart enough to read this then you have a problem. I am Intelligent enough to read your statement and intelligent enough to tell you what I think.
WRONG- you can tell when Jeff is going to say something intelligent - AS soon as he starts talking.